Expectations

I think we all go through life setting ourselves up for disappointment. It happens in so many different ways. We put unrealistic pressure on ourselves, we expect too much of ourselves, and we care too little about things that matter. We expect too much of others, and we become so engrossed in what we are looking for that we forget to notice what we’ve already found.

We set ourselves up for disappointments with our expectations. Expectations ruin us.

For some reason, I’ve had it in my head that certain people will never let me down. I have it in my head that certain things just aren’t supposed to happen.  And I go into every situation with an expectation of what I want to happen.

But that’s not how life works, is it?

Human beings are selfish. Period. We’re wired this way. Sure, there are some seriously selfless people in this world. But we’re all a little bit selfish.

And to a point, we should be.

But when it gets to a point that you’re holding other people to higher expectations than you’re holding yourself to, it becomes a problem. We expect so much from others, yet expect so little from ourselves.

We can be so quick to cut people off for the smallest thing. We’re so terrified of being wronged or ending up hurt that we repel those around us sometimes too quickly.

The truth is, everyone is going to let you down at some point or another. Everyone. 

Even yourself.

Life is full of disappointments, and many of those disappointments will be caused by other human beings.

I write a lot about being on your own side, and loving yourself unconditionally. And while I believe that being on your own side is vital to your happiness, I often forget that it doesn’t mean that I should alienate myself from others.

People mess up. Hell, I mess up daily. We all do.

At some point, I have to learn to let people in. I have to learn to overlook minor mishaps. And I have to learn to stop focusing so much on my expectations of how I want life to be.

Life doesn’t give a shit about my expectations. It’s going to happen however it is supposed to happen, and no amount of wishing or hoping from me is going to change that.

It’s OK to want more from life, from yourself, and from those around you. It’s normal.

But if you aren’t grateful for what you already have, how can you possibly expect to ever be grateful?

One of our biggest downfalls is our relentless focus on how we want life to be instead of how life actually is.

This is your life. Right now. This is how it is. It’s going to change through the years. It’s going to test you, chew you up and spit you out, and test you again.

But for right now, this is it.

So set yourself free from expectations…and just live.

 

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