Dear Lara

Dear Lara,

I don’t know why it happened. I don’t know what caused it. But I know that one day, you began to look in the mirror, and see only flaws.

As each day passed, you began to see more and more. You would forget about your triumphs and only recall your shortcomings. You would celebrate the lives of others, but condemn your own. And with each passing day, it continued.

You went through high school and college constantly fighting a battle with yourself. You punished yourself for eating, and rewarded yourself when you didn’t. You told yourself many times throughout your late teens that this had to end.

But it didn’t.

As you got older, your body began to change. And with each change came a new challenge.

It was almost like a game. “What am I going to find today that isn’t good enough?”

You always found something.

You could look at those around you, and see only beauty, but when it came to yourself, you only saw flaws.

How could you not see how wonderful you are? How lucky you are? How could you not see how strong and powerful your body is? How could you not see it?

As the days passed, you became more and more detached from yourself. It became all too obvious that you were becoming your own worst enemy.

Your body began to have health issues, and you only hated it more.

You became exhausted at the mere idea of trying to be OK with yourself, with your body, with what it had failed to do, and with who you were.

One day when you were really struggling, you got up from the couch and went into the bathroom. You looked at yourself in the mirror. Minutes passed, and you continued to look. What was really so wrong with you? Why couldn’t you see what others saw?

That day you woke up. You realized that in order to change your body, you had to change your thoughts. That’s it.

There was nothing wrong with you. There IS nothing wrong with you. You are exactly as you are supposed to be.

You made a choice to stop hating yourself for everything that you’re not and loving yourself for everything that you are.

You are enough, and there is no one in this world more deserving of your love than yourself.

Love this person that you have become, because you have fought to become her.

Love,

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7 responses to “Dear Lara

  1. Couldn’t have said it any better. You know the old trick/truth about how to bend a spoon with your mind? You can’t. You can only bend yourself, and then you’ll be able to see the spoon the way you want to. I loved the self-epistolary form and the dawning epiphany of the content. Brava.

  2. Beautiful words from a beautiful girl. Love your insight, hun! I think this is something we all struggle with in some degree at some point in time. The key is remembering who you are, that you are enough and that you are loved! :)

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