Someone Pinch Me

After driving for approximately 98 (3) days, I have arrived at my new home and new life. I’m kind of freaking out. I now live in a section of Hollywood called Hollywood Heights and I have hardwood floors. I also kind of have a backyard which is REALLY RARE around here, okay?

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We started our journey on Tuesday around 11 a.m. I mean it would have been sooner but ya know… SNOW. Oh and packing. I hadn’t packed yet. I just needed a little pressure.

We drove for about 12 hours the first day and stayed in Oklahoma City. It was alright. I mean I didn’t get to see a Thunder game or anything but the hotel was very nice and it was a mild 30 degrees so I was happy.

We left the next morning after eating breakfast and being forced to watched Charmed in the breakfast area of the lobby. On Wednesday we spent at least 3 hours in Texas. But it was okay because we found a nice little mexican restaurant that gave me lots of guacamole so I couldn’t really complain. We drove … for like, a while…. and after 13 hours or so of some seriously beautiful sceneries we ended up in Flagstaff, Arizona. I wanted to explore but I was also a fainting goat at this point and fell asleep not long after. We “slept in” the next morning and enjoyed the ORGANIC BREAKFAST that this hotel offered. Also, they weren’t playing Charmed so that was a huge plus.

We left Flagstaff yesterday and proceeded to drive to CA. It was a huge letdown because 1) desert and 2) NOT EVEN A WELCOME TO CA SIGN. I wanted a picture. Whatever.

Ended up arriving in Hollywood around 4 p.m. and I then proceeded to succumb to large culture shock because I have approximately 3 inches where my car is supposed to fit and I’M NOT GOOD AT PARALLEL PARKING.

Apparently my new neighbor noticed because about an hour later there was a large bang on my door. I didn’t answer it because who would be knocking on my door? She didn’t stop so I finally got up the courage to ask my mom to open the door.

There she was. All long blonde hair, plastic body parts, and fake tan. I suppose she was rather sweet. She immediately criticized my parking job because her daughter COULDN’T OPEN HER DOOR ALL THE WAY.

I mean, I literally just moved here and I already have a pretty good understanding that I’ll never able to open my car door all the way because there’s like 80 million people here and not enough room. But maybe she’s just taking a little longer to learn.

She then proceeded to tell me about how rats will probably infest my new living area soon and how I’ll want to leave because this place is hell.

She was really sweet.

Then my amazing new roommate brought home GLUTEN FREE PIZZA and I got over it.

Things I Learned On My Trip:

  1. Tumbleweed is real. It’s a real thing that happens and I drove over one and it was magical.
  2. Pretty much every single house that we passed in New Mexico was brown and had a junk yard behind it. I think they might be hoarders.
  3. People in Texas and New Mexico and Arizona are hesitant to drive the speed limit of 75 and I don’t get it. You’re literally ALLOWED to drive 75 mph and you choose not to. Ugh.
  4. I was in Oklahoma for approximately 7 hours and never once saw a member of Hanson.
  5. I was then in Texas for almost 4 hours and never once saw Tim Riggins.
  6. There’s approximately 2385 ranches along Interstate 40.
  7. Red clay is way worse looking on cars than our dust from back home.
  8. UGH…all the longhorns.
  9. Some place in Texas called Shamrock claims that their town is “just like you saw in the movies!”
  10. Roads in New Mexico are named “J” and “Y” and “X” and “Z” and I’m still trying to figure out why.
  11. I was in Texas for approximately 24 minutes before being flipped off.
  12. I thought I was going to be murdered in some sort of trucker gang when a truck got in front of me, on the side of me, and behind me and stayed like this for several miles.
  13. If you want to try buffalo meat, drive out west.
  14. Entirely too many Wal*Mart’s exist in this world.
  15. Subway makes salads.
  16. I really, really hope next month’s hit song is way less emo. (Say something…I’m giving up on you.) Okay BRUNO MARS JR.
  17. There’s only so many ways to entertain yourself when driving through a desert.

Today I have to go to IKEA and attempt to put together my life. The trash man (?!?!??!?!?!) woke me up at 6 a.m. PT this morning and I didn’t even care because I live in California now. BRB WALKING OUTSIDE WITHOUT A COAT.

“If you don’t build your dreams…someone will hire you to help build theirs.” 


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