1. The Successful Business Guy: He CANNOT and WILL NOT turn his phone off for take-off. He has CALLS to answer on his bluetooth. No, he can’t take them later or just email someone because he is way too important. No, you cannot go to the bathroom if he’s in the aisle seat because he cannot move his laptop.
2. The Complainer: They were behind you in the boarding line so you knew what you were in for. You crossed your fingers that you wouldn’t be anywhere near them. It’s your lucky day…you’re right next to them! The airline told them their carryon was too big. The airline charges too much for food. There’s not enough space in the seats. The flight attendants aren’t cheery enough. I sat next to one of these the other day. Continued to talk to me after I put my headphones in and closed my eyes. Just stop complaining. PLEASE. PLEASE.
3. The Family: They sit next to each other even if their assigned seats are 10 rows apart. They are probably sitting in your assigned seat when you arrive and ask you to switch. It doesn’t matter that they’re asking you to give up your window seat for the last row middle seat. They’re a FAMILY and they need to sit together.
4. The Lone Traveler: This person is totally mysterious. They sit down with their torn backpack and moving literature without saying a word. They listen to their iPods…music that you have never even heard of. They pull out mysterious foods and supplements to accompany their still water. You want to speak to them. You want to ask why their backpack is torn or where they’re going. You want them to acknowledge you. But they don’t.
5. The Kid: They got a personalized escort to the terminal and then to their seat. They get to sit near the front so that the flight attendant can easily keep track of them. They get first choice on food and drink and have their nintendo DS to play games and keep entertained. You might try to talk to them but they will just stare at you. They’re not supposed to talk to strangers.
6. The Couple: They’re so in love. They spend the entire flight whispering to each other, holding hands, and awkwardly cuddling up between their two seats. They have the window and the middle so if you’re on the aisle you are constantly looking ahead terrified of what you might find if you turn your head. You’re not sure if they actually know each other’s names because you’ve only heard “babe.”
7. The Chatty Cathy: She wants to know everything about you. She wants to know where you’re from, where you’re going, what you do for a living, and your parent’s occupations. She wants to know your heritage and half your family tree. She wants to know when your birthday is so that she can proclaim that it’s “so weird that her cousin’s husband has a birthday two days before that!!”
8. The Semi Alcoholic: There’s always that one person. The one that tries to order a drink before the refreshments car has even made its way out. The one that needs to order that $8 cocktail to make it through the 45 minute flight.
9. The Overdramatic: Yes, we’re all familiar with this one. The one that sits down next to you and immediately starts talking about the dream she had last night about the plane crashing. The one that starts talking about her anxiety with flying and how she has to take a valium beforehand to even think about flying. The one that grabs the arm rests during a slight bout of turbulence and proclaims “WHAT WAS THAT? I CANNOT HANDLE THIS.”
10. The “Might Be Dead” Traveler: Ahh finally, this one. This person is holed up in the window seat by the time you find your space in the middle. It would appear that they are in a deep sleep. You are confused as they only just allowed boarding 5 minutes prior. You sit down and accidentally bump their arm. You brace yourself, ready to apologize. This person doesn’t move. They stay that way the rest of the flight. You begin to wonder if they might be dead. Should you be concerned?
Which one are you?