Hi. I just got back from San Francisco yesterday. This is me.
About a month ago I was thinking of all the places in the U.S. I have yet to see. SF was one of them. I mean, obviously. It’s a bay near the ocean and it has a colored bridge and clam chowder. Not to mention all kinds of crazy tech companies and my Friend Breena and Ben.
While I was talking to Ben about it, he mentioned that he had his annual holiday party for Google employees. He said he could get me a ticket. So 30 minutes later I bought a ticket on Priceline….because a Google hosted party in CA, duh?
My friend Eva and I left last Wednesday. We flew Frontier which actually wasn’t that great.
- I have long legs. And really, compared to some people AKA my dad, my legs are pretty short. Yet I couldn’t even fit in the seats. They were made for elves I think. Maybe they’re just spreading holiday cheer.
- If you didn’t reserve your ticket through a special website then they charged you $100 for your carry-on. Yeah, your carry-on. Like, what? That’s not how this is supposed to work.
- Some of their planes have owls on them. Owls are aliens. NO THANKS.
- They make you pay for drinks.
- They stick a TV in front of your face and then ask you to pay $5.99 to watch it. Please, as if I needed more reminders that I’m poor.
With all that being said, we made it to SFO with minimal puking. Then actually figured out how to work some sort of public transportation system with minimal confusion. Then made it to Breena’s place with only 5 or so people hating us for accidentally running them over with our luggage. (I don’t know how to pack “light.”)
On Wednesday we were basically zombies to the world after getting up for our flight at 3:30 a.m. and going without food for a solid 10 hours on principle because NO I WILL NOT pay $12.50 for a sandwich. Thursday we got to explore the Haight-Ashbury District which turns out is where the hippie movement started in the 70’s It is also the place where elderly men on the bus tell us about how they’re about to go “get lit.” Yeah, we get it, you smoke weed.
After finding all kinds of goodies, we went to see the Painted Ladies/Houses or something. I’m not a Full House fan. I never watched it when I was a kid or now or anything, actually. I hate 90’s TV. Don’t stop reading though cause I’ll add some pictures.
It was pretty cool until we tried to catch a bus home and they just kept ignoring me. I mean I had my hand out and I tried to walk up to it and it just kept driving. I guess they have schedules and stuff but it was still kind of mean. On Friday we traveled to Google HQ which was actually insane. Here’s why:
- First of all, we had to take an hour ish train ride to Mountain View because it’s not even in SF. I guess everyone might know that but I didn’t.
- The lady on the train yelled at me for having my feet on the seat but not at the guy across from me. Rude.
- Everyone was riding colored bikes everywhere.
- I ate lunch and no one asked me to pay.
- They had approximately 1948 different types of food.
- Not to mention dessert.
- Not to mention snacks.
- I saw 5 dogs while there and held one.
- I wrote on whiteboards.
- I stole a post-it note.
- I saw their onsite haircut van thing.
- I saw where the employees can get their oil changed and where they can do their laundry and where they can bowl while at work.
- I got asked some mock interview questions that real interviewees get asked and I totally would have never gotten the job.
On Saturday we headed to BRUNCH aka my reason to live and then walked around the Mission District until it was time to start getting ready for the GOOGLE HOLIDAY PARTY. My friend Cait let me borrow this hypnotic gold dress. The party was held at this swanky hotel downtown where there were unlimited free drinks, appetizers, a photobooth, and a s’more station all night. I was in the girl in the corner creepily taking photos of every single moment to send to everyone to make sure everyone knew where I was.
On Sunday I was too tired to shower as we headed to the Golden Gate Bridge and up a mountain side of some sort to see 19 reasons convincing me to move to SF. It was freaking spectacular.
- I only like bacon if it’s covered in maple syrup, apparently. Because I ate at least a plateful and wanted more.
- People are really into waiting in lines in SF. We had to wake up at 7 on Saturday in order to arrive at the brunch place early enough to get a good spot in the LINE THAT WAS ALREADY FORMING.
- There’s a 24 hour donut/coffee/egg sandwich shop in SF and basically I’m about to open one in Indy because we need that.
- No one has a car in SF because PARKING.
- When I ordered a quinoa salad the barista at the coffee shop corrected my pronunciation so I learned that.
- Live reindeer are actually kind of smelly.
- I walked through an earthquake reenactment and I learned I don’t ever want to experience a real one.
- Thai food is AMAZING.
- People in SF will not move over on the sidewalk if they’re in your way. They don’t care.
- If you see a dog running around with a collar don’t try to take it to safety because it actually belongs to that lady on the porch staring you down.
- Avoid walking under balconies in Fisherman’s Wharf. A man poured water on my head when I was walking under one. Then he tried to act like he didn’t even do it. I SAW HIM.
- People in SF thought it was FREEZING at 43 degrees.
- A house in the city of SF is actually 3-4 apartments all in one house.
- The garages in SF are designed for smart cars only.
- A lot of places don’t even accept credit cards.
- All the LYFT drivers are super nice. Well, at least the 5 we had were. Lyft is a business where you can get a ride from someone in their own car who is paid to be a Lyft driver. It’s way cheaper than taxis and they’re way more efficient. Plus they have pink mustaches on their cars and gave out candy canes.
- Google employees had the choice between a new phone or new tablet for their employee Christmas presents. BYE.
- Law & Order SVU is kind of addicting. And by kind of I mean we spent 6 hours one afternoon watching it.
- Northern California isn’t beach weather. It’s chilly and windy. So that cute little wind-breaker I packed wasn’t really doing the trick.
- I, of course, didn’t want to leave.