I Hate The Fact That I Don’t Hate You At All

I hate the way I still check for your interactions online.

I hate the way I still want you to be mine.

I hate how, after all this time, I still think about you.

And I hate how you became someone I only knew.

I hate the way I tried to change you.

I hate the way you changed me, and still do.

I hate the way my mind forces me to remember the way I fell.

And I hate the fact that trying to love you put my heart through hell.

I despise the times when I see your name pop up on my phone.

Most of the time being with you, I would have been better off alone.

I hate when I fall asleep with you in my mind.

And I hate the fact that I savored the rare occasions in which you were kind.

I hate when things remind me of you.

And I hate how I still want to know what you’re up to.

I hate knowing that what we had is spent.

And I hate knowing that you never made one promise that you meant.

As time passes, the memory of us will fade away.

But I’ll remember that actions always speak louder than the words that you say.

At the end of the day, we have to put ourselves first.

Even if the thought of being without them makes your heart burst.

So I said goodbye to you hoping to never look back.

And although sometimes I waiver, I stick with my pact.

Some things are never meant to be.

And though a part of my heart will always want you, it’s time to love me.

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