For those of you that don’t know, Tinder is a recently popular app that will show you people of your choice in your area. What I mean is, you can choose if you would like to see men or women or both and narrow an age range of 18-50+.
You are only able to see a few pictures and brief description of each person accompanied by their Facebook likes before deciding whether or not you want to swipe left or right.
Swipe left = not interested
Swipe right = Hey babe, I’m interested
If you swipe right for someone and that said person also swiped right for you- it’s a match! Then you can start to chat…if you’re brave enough.
Yeah, if you have a teenage child I would be scared too.
I’ve been on Tinder for a total of about 48 hours now. Here’s what I learned:
1) I’m scared of the 18 year olds on Tinder. It took me about 16 hours to finally figure out that my settings were set at 18-50+. I was awfully concerned as to why I kept getting suggestions for multiple 18 year olds with the occasional 50+. I mean, what the hell Tinder? I finally figured it out, but not before I was a witness to the countless 18 year olds on Tinder with the descriptions of “I love to have a good time!! HMU!!” Am I really so far off my game that I had to google what “HMU” means? Yes, yes I am. (It means hit me up…)
2) Jokes don’t translate well via Tinder. I was matched with a certain gentleman who had multiple pictures of him skydiving. My opening line? “Wow you must be really scared of heights.” His response? “nah lol didn’t u c my pics of skydiving?” Alright… we’re done here.
3) Some guys actually think it’s okay to have pictures with their significant other on Tinder. I can only assume that it’s their significant other when there are multiple pictures of him kissing her cheek or prom posing in front of a sunset. We all love a challenge, but not a dirtbag. If you meet that special someone, don’t forget to delete Tinder.
4) After 10 minutes of browsing, I felt exceptionally worse about myself. With each swipe to the left after a few seconds of picture and interest browsing I could only assume that the same was being done to me. Are we really so shallow that three pictures and a 140 character bio is all we need to know if we would be down with meeting someone in real life? I guess so.
5) A lot of people like Harry Potter on Tinder interests and not so much in real life. With my first match of a fellow Harry Potter fan I immediately started with the HP lingo. Too much too soon? Probably. Turns out he just liked the 4th movie and thought it was juvenile that I still, to this day, read the books. I THOUGHT HE WOULD UNDERSTAND. Nope.
6) Opening lines aren’t any easier via an app. I spent 5 minutes trying to contemplate what to say after my skydiving joke was such a flop. I mean, what can we say? “Hey, your 3 pictures made me believe you might be hot. Wanna date?”
7) Seeing people you recognize on Tinder will make you want to delete your account immediately. The whole idea of Tinder is that it’s all anonymous with no last names and limited pictures. Then BAM there’s your coworker and everything is ruined.
8) We are very, very shallow creatures. I’m not excluding myself from this by any means. I was so disgusted with myself after 48 hours of Tinder that I wouldn’t even look in the mirror for a while. How can I be so judgmental of someone I DON’T EVEN KNOW?! Of course looks are important to an extent, but why was I more concerned with the pictures than the interests? The bio?
9) Tinder is essentially a blind date via an app and it’s just as awkward.
“So what do you for a living?”
“Oh I work in media relations and I write.”
“You write? Like…about what?”
“My life, mainly.”
“Aren’t you only 22? What do you even have to write about?”
10) I never, ever want to be on Tinder again. It was fun while it lasted. I met some cool people, had sufficiently awkward conversations, and learned new texting lingo… but in the future, I’ll stick to ordinary.
Until next time,