Expectation: I’ll finally be comfortable in my own skin. I’ll have that bomb sense of style that all those college nights spent on Pinterest prepared me for.
Reality: I ran away when I heard a group of girls laughing in the mall because I was positive they were laughing at my Harry Potter t-shirt.
Expectation: I’ll finally understand the mysterious government and will be able to explain it to my younger cousins with ease.
Reality: “Lara, you’re not really making any sense. Let me just explain it to you.” – 12 year old cousin
Expectation: I’ll finally learn how to properly grocery shop making a list of necessities beforehand in an attempt to spend less money and time.
Reality: Cookies were buy one get one free but I definitely forgot to get anything to pack my lunch with.
Expectation: I’ll be able to handle minor apartment issues or be comfortable calling maintenance.
Reality: “DAD. My dryer isn’t working. What do I do?”
Expectation: It’s been several years since high school so I’ll feel totally at ease if I run into old classmates while at home.
Reality: “SHIT, MOM! I went to school with her!!! I’ll meet you in the frozen foods. I’m going this way!”
Expectation: I’ll finally learn to stop texting important conversations and pick up the phone to call.
Reality: “Lara, I didn’t get all of that text. Only 4/6 pages came in. Send it again.”
Expectation: I’ll stop using the word “like” so incessantly.
Reality: “Like, I just feel like you’re judging me a little bit. And like, it’s fine. But like, it hurts my feelings.”
Expectation: I’ll finally learn how to properly express my feelings.
Reality: “Dude, are you alright?” I’M FINE.