- Can the people to my right see my peach fuzz in this sunlight? Should I close the window blind?
- What the hell? Why didn’t I get a milkshake before I boarded? God, it looks delicious. She didn’t even drink it all! Just threw it away without even offering it to me. Ugh.
- Oh damnit, I just missed the entire safety presentation. Hope this doesn’t go down.
- Did she say my seat was a flotation device?
- Where is this lady going with this ripped carry on bag? Why is it ripped? Did she drag it through the mountains on a hike? What’s she doing in Detroit? Can she tell I’m staring at her?
- I wonder how much experience the pilots have. What if they’re close to my age? I don’t trust myself to even do laundry some days.
- I wonder what he’s listening to. He seems like he’s into Tom Petty. Maybe Dave Matthews. Maybe Dredg.
- I can’t fall asleep because I’m in the middle seat and I don’t want to sleep on these people.
- Did anyone notice my head falling forward after I fell asleep?
- Is that turbulence or is the plane malfunctioning?!?!?!
- I have to pee so badly but I refuse to enter that claustrophobic cube unless absolutely necessary.
- Okay. I peed. Now what? Should I press this button? OMG that was the toilet flushing?! Did I just put us all in danger?
- I no longer believe in the mile high club. Why would you want to do that? I’m getting motion sickness from walking.
- That kid has his entire head hogging the window. SHARE THE WEALTH, WINDOW SEAT SITTERS.
- When they ask me if I want peanuts, crackers, or cookies and I saw “all of the above,” will it work? (No.)
If I take Dramamine will I still throw up? (Yes)