Living On My Own: Expectations vs. Reality

Expectation: I will get up early and run around my beautiful new apartment complex sweating away the daily stress and confusion of pretending to have my life together.

Reality: Retro MTV is playing reruns of The Hills and Laguna Beach so running can wait.

 Expectation: I will cook exotic meals in my lovely kitchen and eat 100% organic and have so much more energy!

Reality: Toast everyday. One time I threw in some cereal.

Expectation: I will throw fabulous parties in my amazing new foyer and drink wine out of my lovely wine glasses.

Reality: I only have Harry Potter cups, and no one can come over on the account of me not wanting to put pants on.

Expectation: I will read exhilarating pieces of literature and expand my brain’s capacity.

Reality: But Catfish is on.

Expectation: I will be out late on Mass Ave and in Broad Ripple sipping an outlandish beverage with my new hip friends.

Reality: I fell asleep on the couch at 9 p.m. with my hand in a bag of PopChips.

Expectation: I will become a strong independent woman.

Reality: Called my brother at midnight because my refrigerator made a weird noise and it may or may not be an intruder or my ice-maker… I DON’T KNOW WHICH.

Expectation: I DON’T NEED A MAN.

Reality: I spent 3 days trying to open a jar of jelly.

Expectation: I will get up earlier and have more time to spend getting ready because I don’t have to share the bathroom or closet with a roommate!

Reality: Spending $5 on dry shampoo because SHOWERING IS HARD.

And finally…

Expectation: I will finally feel like an adult when living on my own.

Reality: Spend at least 5 minutes a day wondering how I earned a college degree.

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