After giving a part of yourself to someone- whether that is your childhood, your weekends, your weeknights, or maybe your vulnerability- you become attached to this person.
Being attached to someone isn’t a bad thing. It’s human nature to develop strong feelings for someone that you spend so much time with. But becoming attached to someone emotionally brings the sense of terror with it. Suddenly you become sick at the thought of your life without this person.
I often see this happen in relationships; whether platonic or romantic. We get so caught up in the IDEA of the relationship that we often times overlook the change the relationship has gone through. The reality of it…
People change, situations change, feelings change- that’s life.
When you begin to notice a change in your relationship it’s very hard to imagine your life without this person.
But it is imperative to realize that this person isn’t the person you fell in love with. This person isn’t the same person you pledged friendship forever with.
We get so caught up in the idea of this person that we sometimes fail to notice the reality.
You MUST be with the person’s reality not their POTENTIAL. Yes, they have the potential to be a wonderful boyfriend/girlfriend and yes they have the potential to be the best friend ever…but are they living up to that potential?
It is hard to face reality. It really is. It’s a constant struggle to grasp the concept that the person you want them to be and the person they are…well, these are two separate things.
So why do we hold on so tightly to the idea of this person? Is it because we believe that with enough determination, we can make it a reality?
It is because we are terrified at the thought of being alone?
I wish I could make everyone realize that not being attached to a certain person or persons doesn’t mean that you’re alone.
We have to stop buying into the idea that other people are in charge of our happiness; our wellbeing; our satisfaction in life.
The relationship was good for what it was. It served its purpose; it taught you lessons. It was never a waste of time. But it is time to move on and develop the most important relationship of all- the one you have with yourself.
One of the greatest things that I have ever done for myself is allowed myself to learn how to be on my own and be happy.
I love having relationships with people; aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, best friends, boyfriends, soul mates- I love them all.
But at the end of the day, I love having a relationship with myself most of all.