It’s Not You…It’s Me

From a young age we are taught to not be selfish. We’re taught to share our toys and food with brothers and sisters and classmates. I’m still not the best at sharing food, but whatever, my parents tried.

However, as we grow older we must realize that sometimes you have to be selfish.

It’s no secret that this entire semester I have been trying to find my way out of Indiana. I want to explore. I yearn to go on a new adventure whether that’s a new job out of state, or pursuing an MBA out of country, etc. I just need to experience something new and it’s the perfect time to do so. I know, deep down, that this is what I truly want. But then I look at the faces of my friends and my family. Of course anyone that truly cares about me is supportive. Of course they know they should be happy for me. But I can still see it in their eyes. Those looks like… “How could you leave me? Why do you want to leave me? Why aren’t you happy here?

And then there’s the look that asks “Are you ever going to come back?

I don’t know how to explain to everyone in my life that this isn’t about them. This isn’t about my friends, my family, my pets, my teachers, my life here. It has nothing to do with anyone else except for me. It’s like that cliche break-up excuse…”It’s not you- it’s me.”

Admitting that makes me feel extremely selfish. But sometimes in life, we have to be selfish. I can’t stay around Indiana in order to continue making memories with my friends and family. If I did that I would end up resenting them for allowing me to stay and not pursue my dreams.

So…

Dear Everyone,

No matter what, this is YOUR life and you are the only person in charge of how you choose to live it. If you want to move to Africa and educate small children- you should do that. If you want to make a career out of social work even though countless people have told you that there is no money to be made- just do it. If you want to pursue a degree in painting or music theory- do it. It’s your life…and at the end of the day the only person who is going to be unhappiest is YOU.

I don’t mean to be a selfish person; I am just following my dreams while I still can.

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