Angry People You know those people that seem perpetually angry about seemingly everything? I’m talking those people that are mad to be awake, mad that their coffee was hot, mad that there are (heaven forbid) mounds of other people driving on the interstate in an effort to get to work and because of this there might be the occasional slow down. These people are infectious. Just being around them makes your day a little bit worse and suddenly you find yourself beginning to get angry as well. These people… I just don’t get it. You can’t live a positive life with a negative mind. Cheer up. Is it really that bad?
The people at parties that won’t help you find the piñata I mean seriously, I have this blindfold on and I’ve been swinging this bat around for a good 7 minutes JUST TELL ME WHERE THE DAMN PINATA IS. We all want candy here.
Students that constantly complain about their homework It’s time for a serious reality check. There are MILLIONS of people our age that would probably trade one of their kidneys to be able to receive a college education. We are in school expanding our education and setting ourselves up for a better future. So next time you think you want to complain about that paper- just put it into perspective. Yeah, writing papers sucks- you know what sucks more, though? A dead end job for the rest of YO LIFE.
Bees I don’t understand bees. Why do you sting people if you immediately die afterwards? Do you really hate humans that much? Was that sting on my stomach worth your life, bee?
People that drink sweet tea This is directed at you, North Carolina friends. That stuff is not good. I know a lot of you probably disagree but for real it’s like sugar and tar. It also reminds me way too much of McDonald’s and the food poisoning that might ensue after eating there.
Math I just don’t understand. More importantly, I don’t want to understand. I’ll probably be content the rest of my life without knowing what a Euler Circuit is or how to do a traveling salesman problem. Just let me LIVE MY LIFE professor and please pass me so that I can graduate. This is what calculators are for. Unless you’re going to teach me how to balance my check book or calculate my taxes, I’m not interested.
Why being single is viewed so negatively You know what’s cool? Being single. For real though, it is. You know what else is cool? Being in a relationship. It’s not one or the other. It’s not an either /or situation. Not having a significant other doesn’t increase or decrease your cool level. At least not in my book.
People who genuinely enjoy Milk Duds They are ALL up on my teeth. In essentially every crevice and crack. Like, I get it, it’s been a while since I had braces. Excuse me while I pick this melted chocolate substance out of my teeth for the next 35 minutes. Not worth it, at all.
People who clap in movie theaters Why are you clapping? This isn’t a live performance. The actors and actresses can’t hear you. Neither can the producer or the director. So why are you clapping…in the middle of the scene? I just want to watch this movie that I paid 12$ to see in silence. I’m sorry.
The Harlem Shake I watched like 7 videos when this first became a thing because everyone was raving on and I was all “Oh it must be hilar!” Nope. 2 weeks later and I still don’t understand it. Why is this a thing?