I’m More Than Just a Uterus

I was having a conversation with an advisor the other day. It was the same old conversation that I’ve written about countless times.

Them– Lara, where do you want to work?

Me– ehh see, that’s a wee bit complicated, as I don’t really see myself staying in Indiana. I mean, I’m not ruling anything out but…I’d like to leave if possible.

Them– Well, Indiana is a great place to live.

Me– Yes,  it is. I know because I’ve lived here for 21 years now. I’m just ready for something more and this is the perfect time to make it happen.

Them– Well where would you like to see yourself if it’s in the states?

Me– CALI. But seriously, I would love it.

Them– California is expensive.

Me– Yes, I’m aware.

Them– Indiana is a great place to raise a family though…

Hold it right there.

I’m 21 years old. I don’t want to think about having a family right now. I have absolutely no interest in settling down or beginning a family. It’s not on my priority list for a good 5 years. I’m too selfish. That’s the honest truth. I have so many things I want to accomplish and I’m not willing to give up my dreams to take care of another person right now. That’s MY choice.

When contemplating where I would like to end up by the end of 2013 none of it has to do with where I could raise a family…because I’m not raising a family.

There’s nothing wrong with that.

Just because I’m a single woman doesn’t mean I suddenly have to find a husband and start a family before I turn the “OLD AGE” of 25.

Look, I have no issues with other women my age who have chosen to begin their family. That’s fantastic. I’m just choosing not to begin a family…and that’s just as fantastic.

So here’s my final plea: don’t be so quick to judge.

Just because I’m not sticking to what’s “normal” doesn’t mean that I’m making the wrong choice. I’m making the best choice for ME.

I want to get these ridiculous stereotypes and social norms out of everyone’s mind.

And above all, I want to remind everyone to be curious rather than judgmental.

So much of our twenties can be wasted on worrying what others think.


Be weird. Be random. Be You. As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters.

“I don’t know why women need to have children to be seen as complete human beings.”

-Marisa Tomei


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